10 Inevitable Malort Reactions: Before and After Shots

We’re all familiar with the taste. The sweet, sweet burn of Jeppson’s Malört – the best (or maybe the worst) thing to ever happen to Chicago.

What’s the most significant part of a Malört experience, besides the unmistakable, somewhat radioactive taste of rotting grapefruit rind mixed with gasoline? (Compliments to our staff member Lizzie for that shockingly accurate description). The reaction, of course, and all the anticipation that comes with it.

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Taking inspiration from similar photoshoots we’ve seen from other Chicagoans, we thought we’d compile a little photoshoot of the UrbanMatter staff before and after taking shots of this abomination we call a local spirit. Here are our favorite Malört before-and-after reactions.

malort reactions

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Good ol’ fashioned look of pure disgust.

malort reactions

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The inevitable “Oh no…” face.

malort reactions

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Then, we have the “Oh no, it’s getting worse!” face.

malort reactions

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The just-push-through-it reaction. “This is fine. If I keep smiling, maybe the taste will go away….”

malort reactions

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The rare near-tears reaction. It’s okay to cry – we’re all in this together!

malort reactions

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“You guys think this is bad? I mean, I don’t even think it’s that bad….” What?!

malort reactions

The reaction only a first-timer could have. (Yup, we feel your pain).

malort reactions

The “I drink this shit every day for breakfast” reaction. (We all know that guy).

malort reactions

The “I’m actually offended you maniacs drink this stuff” reaction.

malort reactions

Last but not least, we have the obligatory “Guys, let’s take more shots…” face. (Watch out for this one).

 

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