If You Do These Things in NYC You’re A Dick

Sorry, but it’s just true.

Here are 22 things you can do that’ll royally piss off any New Yorker.

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1. Stand In the Middle of the Sidewalk

Piss Off NYC

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To quote another angry New Yorker:  I’m walkin’ here.

 

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2. Make Out in the Middle of the Sidewalk

You're a Dick NYC

It’s unnecessary and gross and you should know better. And, I’m STILL walkin’ here!?

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3. Walk in a Group

Photo Credit: New York Daily News
Photo Credit: New York Daily News

Do you really need to walk like 14 abreast on a tiny sidewalk? No, I think not.

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4. Stand on the Subway Platform With Giant Backpack On

Piss Off New Yorkers

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Seriously, it’s crowded enough in here already.

 

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5. Manspread

Piss Of New Yorkers
Photo Credit: Oxford Dictionaries Blog

Just stop.

 

6. Block People From Exiting the Subway

Piss Off New Yorkers

You can get on after I leave. Ugh.

 

7. Where One Of Those “I <3 NY” Shirts, Ironically

You're a Dick NYC

The only thing worse then tourist wearing them is when you do it as a joke. Trust.

 

8. Eat on the Train

Piss Off New Yorkers

While I’m sure that your tuna sandwich tastes great, it smells like death.

 

9. Take the Seat Right Next to Someone When There’s Like 10 Open

Piss Off New Yorkers

Just why?

 

10. Let Your Cigarette Smoke Blow Behind You

You're a Dick NYC

Secondhand smoke is real. Get that shit out of my face.

 

11. Not Knowing Your Bagel/Drink Order BEFORE You Get To The Counter

Piss Off New Yorkers

You’re the reason this is taking forever.

 

12. Use an Enormous Umbrella

You're a Dick NYC

Are you TRYING to put my eye out? ‘Cause it feels like it.

 

13. Play Music on the Train Sans Headphones

Piss Off New Yorkers

No, I do not want to hear your most recent Soundcloud mixtape.

 

14. Upstream a Cab From Someone Else

You're a Dick NYC

If you do this, you’re a snake.

 

15. Order the Most Complicated Drink at Starbucks At Exactly 8:45am

Piss Off New Yorkers

Half-caf, no foam, double shot, extra this, more of that, blah, blah, blah. They have a menu for a reason!

 

16. Swipe Your Metrocard Wrong

You're a Dick NYC

Just don’t. Please.

 

17. Put Your Trash Just OUT IN THE STREET

Piss Off New Yorkers

I blame you personally for the “New York is dirty” stereotype.

 

18. Say ‘Forex’ or ‘Bitcoin.’ Ever.

You're a Dick NYC

We get it, you’re a dick. No need to keep reminding us.

 

19. Ride a Bike But Don’t Follow Any Street Signs

Piss Off New Yorkers

Just cause you’re saving the Earth or whatever doesn’t mean you get to IGNORE ONE WAY STREETS. OR TEXT IN THE MIDDLE OF ONE.

 

20. Stop on the Stairwell to the Subway

You're a Dick NYC

PEOPLE HAVE PLACES TO GO.

 

21. Not Clean Up After Your Dog

You're a Dick NYC

*Insert death stare here.*

 

22. And Finally…..Lean on the Subway Poles

Piss Off New Yorkers
Photo Credit: Gothamist

I am not, repeat, AM NOT, interested in getting my hand crushed by your sweaty back.

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