7 Chicago Twitter Accounts You Should Probably Be Following

For years now people have been going on and on about Twitter’s imminent death. And while yes, there’s really no denying that Twitter has seen some ups and downs over the years, here we are in 2018 and the damn site is still kicking.

So, in honor of nearly 12 years of the King of Online Bullshit, we’ve compiled a list of the funniest Chicago Twitter accounts you should definitely follow in the new year.

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Fair warning though, you might wanna wait till your away from work to check em out – you’re probably be scrolling through for a while.

 

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Chicago Party Aunt – @ChiPartyAunt

 

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She’s the lady sporting a rhinestone Urlacher jersey at the Jewel-Osco on Wabash. She’s the one who shows up to the Cubs game five Buds deep with a family size bag of Fritos tucked in her tote. She’s Chicago Party Aunt, and you’ve definitely met her before. 

A parody account of literally every 40-something wine-o you’ve ever met at a family engagement, @ChiPartyAunt will keep you in stitches for hours.

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The Double Deuce – @CTABUS22

 

The Double Deuce is an entire account dedicated to letting the world know what a horrible bus CTA 22 is. With a little bit of random political comedy thrown in, @CTABUS22 spends most of its time filing us in on the worst people on its route.

 

Riot Fest – @RiotFest

 

Whether you plan on attending the pop-punk festival or not, Riot Fest’s twitter account is totally worth a follow. In between the standard music info, Riot Fest also manages to publish hilarious articles about particularly weird local news, clap back at stupid questions and give us a bunch of random facts we never knew we needed to know. 

donni saphire – @donni

 

A Chicago-based comedian and producer of The Mullet Chicago, Donni’s twitter account is a strangely perfect combo of self-deprecation and random thought. Tweeting about anything from his intense hatred of squirrels (I mean, they do kind of suck) to cluing us into why we shouldn’t lend our car to any birds (HINT: it’s cause birds can’t drive), Donni’s got and endless supply of mindless thought to keep you occupied for, like, days.

 

Jeppsons Malort – @JeppsonsMalort

 

Malort is a Chicago-only drink and they know it. The account tweets largely about the foul-tasting liquor itself and it’s hangover inducing side effects, giving us gems like “Malort: ORD in the streets, MDW in the sheets” and more. 

 

The Last Blockbuster – @loneblockbuster

 

A tribute account to one of the longest standing Blockbuster video stores out in the Oak Lawn shopping center. I refuse to comment on whether or not the store is still physically there, but regardless, their material is pretty damn funny.

 

Cards Against Humanity – @CAH

 

In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past few years, Cards Against Humanity is, indeed, a Chicagoland company. And their twitter has come to play. Tweeting mostly content about or links to their ridiculous stunts, I can almost guarantee you that you’ll lose two hours as soon as you follow that link. You’ve been warned.

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