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Mariska Hargitay and the Quiet Work of a Long Marriage

She sat silently at first. Then words came – Mariska Hargitay talking of years shared with Peter Hermann. Luck didn’t build it. Instead, showing up every day did. After that, listening – not just hearing, but really being there – made the difference. She repeats these steps each morning instead of waiting for signs. The pattern continues – no grand gestures, just consistency. Since joining forces on screen and off, she’s come to see gratitude as a quiet engine behind their bond.
While some might point to timing or fate, she points instead to choices – small ones piling up like unread books on a nightstand. Because here’s the thing: trust isn’t built once; it returns, asking questions each morning. So when asked what keeps them close after all this time, she shrugs slightly, says something about patience wearing different faces depending on the season. “I feel so blessed in that department,” Hargitay said in an interview with E! News. “My new two favorite words are ‘disciplined curiosity.’ Really being curious about the other person and how they experience something and really listening.”
Embracing Honest Conversations
When things get tough, Hargitay and Hermann still talk it through – they’ve done that since tying the knot in 2004. Raising three kids together hasn’t slowed them down: August is 19, Amaya turned 15, and Andrew just hit 14. What keeps them going? Sitting down for real talks, not just small talk. It matters when tough talks get room to breathe, she said – what keeps things steady between them. Not sidestepping the hard bits, but moving through with calm, open ears ready. What counts is showing up, even when it’s messy.
Laughing Through Tough Times
Laughter shows up when things get tough, keeping the two grounded. When pressure builds, a well-timed quip slips in – Hargitay says it opens space to face hard stuff, side by side.
“My husband and I also use a lot of humor to get through things,” she said. “The way we can joke about things and then afterwards we go, ‘Too soon?’ It’s sort of everything for us.”
Hargitay noted that It’s his quiet thoughtfulness that catches attention.
Under pressure, rather than rush in, he pulls away – making room to listen fully to what she has to say. “If there is ever a disagreement or argument or we get scared or tight, I know that he will always think about it or think about what I said,” she explained. “If we disagree on something, I really will try to understand what he means.” Space to talk freely matters most, she said. Shutting down inside tends to stir up trouble instead. Understanding grows where honesty shows up.
Hopes Rise for People with Multiple Myeloma
She talked about more than just her wedding. Working alongside Bristol Myers Squibb, she joined a project called “Investigating Myeloma.” This effort shines light on multiple myeloma, a type of blood cancer. Her connection runs deep – someone close to her faced it too. Before she joined, her father Mickey Hargitay died in 2006 due to sickness. His passing changed the way she viewed the work.

Though there’s still no fix for multiple myeloma, Hargitay highlighted shifts brought by fresh discoveries. Because of recent science strides, patient care now looks different than before. “Multiple myeloma is an incurable disease, but it is treatable,” she said. “With this research there’s just so much more hope to be had. Things have changed so much in 20 years.”
Because she cares deeply about the topic, she steps forward – not only out of personal experience but because change matters to her. What drives her is a quiet hope that better understanding can grow, along with real shifts in how care moves forward.