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Tamzin Outhwaite Reveals the ‘Very Long Journey’ to Acceptance After Her Eldest Child Flo’s Transition
Tamzin Outhwaite has disclosed the path that her family took to acceptance after her eldest child Flo came out as transgender.
The 55-year-old former EastEnders star is the mother of Florence, 17, and Marnie, 12. They are from the ex-husband Tom Ellis, whom she separated from in 2014.
Until July of last year, Tamzin did not discuss Flo’s gender. During that, she disclosed that he was trans and first came out as a boy when he was ‘about 10 or 11’.
‘It has been a long, somewhat challenging journey, but we have finally reached a fantastic place, ‘ she explained. ‘The main thing for me is that he is happy, and that is how I feel right now. He is thriving, in fact, absolutely thriving.’
‘I’m not really supposed to share anything about him [Flo]. The only time I was permitted to talk about him was on Rob [Beckett] and Josh [Widdicombe]’s podcast, Parenting Hell, because it’s his favourite podcast.’
‘Therefore, I was given permission to talk about him on those two occasions only. However, I’m still not allowed to talk about him anywhere else, and I respect that decision, ‘ she said to The Mirror.
From “Ludicrous” to Relief: Tamzin Outhwaite Opens Up About the “Dark Times” of Her Son’s Transition
Last year on the *Parenting Hell* podcast, Tamzin revealed: ‘I have two children. I did have two daughters but now I have a son and a daughter. It’s quite easy for me to say that now, but maybe six or seven years ago I might not have been able to.’
In fact, she continued, “I guess the craziest thing is that actually it’s not the main thing about him. He is so funny and smart and I see him developing into a great person who happens to be very talented.”
To see him excelling was, in fact, “for me, nothing but relief and happiness because there were definitely some dark times, ” she added.
Tamzin looked back on the time when Flo revealed to her that she was trans and in fact, she remembers it as a “very upsetting time”.
She added, “It’s so hard to understand a situation until it happens to you and your child.”
“I think at first I would say, ‘don’t be ridiculous’. I didn’t actually say don’t be ridiculous but my mind was going, ‘that’s ludicrous’.
Family therapy, sensitivity and the ongoing public debate on trans issues
‘Our way of dealing with it was starting to talk, family therapy, therapy for Flo also, having the conversation and realising you are not alone.
‘I think if you pressure a kid, they will do the opposite of what the parent says. I never said “you can’t be that”, but it was a time of distress.
We supported each other as a family and also sought help from outside.’
Rob Beckett, who co-hosts the podcast with Josh Widdicombe, said: ‘You won’t be able to do everything to keep them happy. It’s in them and there are other factors too.
Having to let things take their course…’
‘Exactly, ‘ Tamzin responded. ‘Time and action, but also being sensitive and, you know. The whole LGBT community have been getting a pretty rough time lately it’s tough, I think.
It is a hot topic.
Josh said: ‘It’s like you were preparing all along to be in sync with the topic turning into a public debate, ‘ he said, referring to the.Trasprominent discussion of trans issues in the media.
‘Kind of, yeah. Every case is totally different, every child is different, ‘ Tamzin said. ‘It really is less than one per cent of the population.
‘There’s this huge uproar thing. It’s hardly that common, just because…. But I’m just so happy for him.
‘I’m happy that we have come to a place and he has come to a place that he is just.… I mean, he’s a fantastic actor.
He’s very keen to be a comedy writer. I was only allowed to talk about it on this podcast.’
Tom Child, the ex-boyfriend, is still a “best mate” and a constant presence in the family
Tamzin shared that Tom Child, her boyfriend for six years and now ex, is still her ‘best mate’ and he is always in and out of the house.
‘[He] has also stayed through Flo’s transitioning period, Marnie discovering herself sexually, so he is still like a member of the family. We’ve been not together for over a year.
The kids sometimes say to him “When you meet someone, or even if you have, how are you going to explain this situation to your girlfriends?”