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Journey Through Pain and Healing
Kate Vogel is a singer-songwriter hailing from Nashville, who has gone through extreme emotional pain and profound grief, events that have been incorporated into her most recent single, “Light at the End Of The Tunnel”. The song is an inspirational piece showing her effective transition from despair over heartbreak and loss to a helping, encouraging perspective. In a conversation, Vogel shared the background of the combat sambo where she derived the language of the song from and the strength of her musical comeback. It is an intimate work for her as she described it, words are very faithful about abuse and retreat that they are not just creative writing but this is how she is alive.
Vogel’s problems started when she was a teenager and had to face sexual violence, abuse, and harassment. All these traumatic events were so difficult and they got wounds deep inside and coming back to that period, she remembers the way she felt — guilt and loneliness to the extreme. “It felt like it never ended,” she said, remembering the cycle of cruelty. “Being sexually assaulted started young, I could never shake off the feeling that it was my fault. Since I was a child, I used to move quite a bit, and that also makes you a little bit vulnerable because you don’t have an army of people who will protect you, defend you.”
The Weight of Grief
The wounds of her youthful trauma were then overlaid onto quite incomprehensible heartbreak. In 2016, she studied at Vanderbilt University, where she enrolled for Economics, when her best friend Kyra was involved in a car accident that changed Vogel’s life forever. The loss was so heavy and it really was a turning point in her life. “She was my best friend and I was sitting at the back of my economics classes writing songs about her rather than learning what was being taught. I was flunking. But there was no way I could stop writing. How could I?” Kate Vogel remembered. Kyra’s death significantly impacted her and she started venting these feelings in her songs.
Vogel’s loss should have been enough already, and yet, just three months later, another close friend commit suicide placing Vogel in another heartbreaking lesson in tragedy. That level of grief was almost overload, and Vogel was close to breaking down. “I was at her funeral,” she recalled, “I think I was having ideation as well. I was like, ‘I want to go too.’” Such heavy and impacting loss after the other crushed Vogel and made her suicidal.
Despite the immense pain and despair, Vogel found a way to channel her suffering into her music, using it as a lifeline to pull herself out of the darkness. “Light at the End of the Tunnel” is a direct result of this journey—a song that embodies her struggle, her pain, and ultimately, her triumph over the shadows that once threatened to consume her. With the help of her art, Vogel did not manage to cure herself, but she created a strong source of hope for other sad souls, who might trudge through tunnels of sadness.
Turning away from music
When it comes to music and her desire to create, Kate Vogel was head over heels in love with both. However, the excruciating grief she suffered from all her losses and other painful experiences made it impossible for her to be able to create. So, she decided to date the numbers, thinking that this more serious profession could protect her from emotional catastrophe. The burden of his sorrow and the shadow of earlier trauma made it impossible for her to be able to even imagine a career in music for fear of more heartache, which she buried and took a different path.
That decision was in some ways more driven by the search for safety than by idealism as Vogel went to work in corporate finance. But it also represented her resolve to bury herself under work to avoid the hurt that had now become associated with – music. “I graduated college and still have never told anyone that I did music,” she shared, “I just went into corporate finance because I knew you can make money”. This choice marked a significant departure from her true self, as she tried to suppress the artist within her in favor of a life that seemed safer, more predictable, and less vulnerable to the emotional wounds she had endured.
Hitting Rock Bottom
Nevertheless, the emotional suffering that she had suppressed came to the surface in catastrophic effects.
Up until 2019, Vogel had spiraled down as much as she could, losing hope and drowning in despair and feeling as though she had no tether to the existence she was in. This sense of despair led to a suicidal event which she stated would become the first turning point of her life. “I got out of the bed and was furious,” she remembered. “What was the point in saving my life after I watched everything I went through, and all of the wrong people, all of the people who wronged me and did crimes, walked away smiling and lead happy lives? Why am I not happy? Why am I not the person who I want to be?” These questions stalked her and in many ways compelled her to deal with the deep pain that brought her to such a place as this.
The Impact of #MeToo Movement
As Vogel grappled with these profound questions, a significant shift occurred with the rise of the #MeToo movement. The movement’s powerful message of speaking out against sexual harassment and assault resonated deeply with her, shaking the foundations of the life she had constructed in an effort to protect herself. “When the #MeToo movement happened, it just blew my world open” Kate Vogel said. What was more surprising, however, was a cultural change that made her look back. This cultural awakening forced her to come back to the traumas that she was trying to avoid, but also sparked a new fire inside her.
The #MeToo movement helped Kate Vogel explore new facets of herself and her creativity. It was only then that she was able to find her voice not just as a trauma survivor, but as an artist who had a lot to say. Learning that she was not the only one with such trauma, that many people had to bear the same experiences, was the encouragement she needed to get back to what she loved most—music. This time she did not just return to music but changed the soundscape using her art as a means to process her pain, share her story, and inspire others who might be facing their own battles.
A New Beginning
Thanks to the #MeToo movement, Vogel had the strength to pursue music again, this time in a different light. Rather than run away from the ghost of her past, she attempted to reinvent herself and turn her scars into something useful. From that moment on, a new epiphany emerged in her. This time, however, she was not afraid of falling in love with music and getting shattered; she was ready to heal and utilize music for her empowerment. This was an awakening for her for there could now be a new picture in her mind, one that embraces the artist, the survivor, and the woman who is unapologetic toward herself. The central theme of coming back to music through Vogel’s lens is discovering that she is her own hero, and she is inspiring others through this story now.
Public personas like Taylor Swift, Kesha, and Gabrielle Union resonate with Kate Vogel to a high extent because they portray resilience and strength. Hearing from people who have gone through difficult experiences and survived and indeed thrived inspires hope in tumultuous circumstances. It brought her back her voice and the inspiration to do what she loves to do – music. Regardless of the odds he had encountered, she cultivated hope in humanity through music and art. Their experiences became a source of inspiration to Kate Vogel once more and helped her get back to the intended course. Vogel rushed home to Nashville to beg her family to take her back when the COVID-19 pandemic hit. I was especially active, working various jobs because of the untenable conditions and the atmosphere which was changing every single minute, she says.
Moving To Los Angeles
Shortly after that, she undertake the ‘crazy’ steps of moving to Los Angeles, particularly, to start anew.
In her new role, she had joined Mattel. And although she went about her corporate duties, the music invitingly beckoned her, anchoring on her heart. Once she was free to pursue her true interests, they spilled over in her working hours, unabashedly. “I used to do a lot of it in the bathroom. I would go to the bathroom and record voice note songs,” she said. “For example, when we were working from home, I would simply go and write during the middle of my lunch hour,” she said. The once suppressed voice was now clamoring to be freed. There was no way she could carry on ignoring it anymore. The health crisis was a period for her restructuring her life, an episode that demanded her to bring back to the surface the wants that she buried for practical and self – preservation purposes.
This renewed sense of purpose and connection to her music resulted in the writing of ‘Light at the End of the Tunnel’ a potent follow-up to the first of her singles released from akagiyama, ‘Reasons to Stay’ that was released in 2019. Making this new song was not simply going back to her music, it was a reclamation of how she perceives herself as an artist. In the course of making this film, Kate Vogel used the power she had absorbed from other peoples stories, interlacing her own tale of Asphyxiation, hope and recovery into every single note and word she penned down. This song signified an advancement in her career, one in which she accepted her potentials, vocal expression and how it could be useful to other people going through hard times.
From Despair to Hope
It is evident from the theme of Kate Vogel’s new track, ‘Light at the End of the Tunnel,’ that she has gone through an issue and successfully beaten it. Vogel considers the song as a letter to her younger self that contains all the love and care. “‘Light at the End of the Tunnel’ is a letter to my younger self,” she said. The listeners are led on as the lyrics begin with ‘If I could go back and tell myself then, that I’d make it out. I’m breathing again,’ marking the end of her agonizing depression towards a direction of healing well and having new horizons made clear.
The track contains powerful new material that is yet to be finalized for release in the album ‘Soft’ on 20th September. The album explores issues of attempting to be emotionally present after the pain is gone. “Soft is about feeling the need to cut off everything, for fear of getting hurt, and then trying to control this desire and opening up again, all the time,’” explains Vogel.
Advocacy Beyond Music
Kate Vogel willingness to serves the underprivileged extends beyond her music. She has worked at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) in a Policy Board position and has grown her advocacy onto the national scene. Vogel has lobbied for this organization on Capitol Hill for various issues including mental health services for students, 988 crisis texting service, care for veterans, LGBTQI+ youth, and equitable access to mental health resources. Her work in this scope shows how she wants to change lives positively of the people, and more so, those in the margins.
It is this aspect of her work that highlights Vogel’s belief that music, more than mere entertainment or art, precludes and suppresses self-doubt and self-hate, allowing one to forever break free from negative life situations. According to Vogel, no matter how tough the path may be, with determination and the will to move on, one will be able to see the sunrise not only after the dark night but even towards the journey’s end. “Of course, they are all there. There is life at the end of the tunnel. You will not just survive, but you shall also strive, and all your best days are still ahead.”
