{"id":28870,"date":"2018-04-06T15:30:01","date_gmt":"2018-04-06T20:30:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/?p=28870"},"modified":"2019-07-10T11:26:08","modified_gmt":"2019-07-10T16:26:08","slug":"malort-reactions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Inevitable Malort Reactions: Before and After Shots"},"content":{"rendered":"

We’re all familiar with the taste. The sweet, sweet burn of Jeppson’s Mal\u00f6rt \u2013 the best (or maybe the worst) thing to ever happen to Chicago.<\/p>\n

What’s the most significant part of a Mal\u00f6rt experience, besides the unmistakable, somewhat radioactive taste of rotting grapefruit rind mixed with gasoline? (Compliments to our staff member Lizzie for that shockingly accurate description). The reaction, of course, and all the anticipation that comes with it.<\/p>\n

Taking inspiration from similar photoshoots we’ve seen from other Chicagoans, we thought we’d compile a little photoshoot of the UrbanMatter staff before and after taking shots of this abomination we call a local spirit. Here are our favorite Mal\u00f6rt before-and-after reactions.<\/p>\n

\"malort<\/a><\/p>\n

Good ol’ fashioned look of pure disgust.<\/p>\n

\"malort<\/a><\/p>\n

The inevitable “Oh no…” face.<\/p>\n

\"malort<\/a><\/p>\n

Then, we have the “Oh no, it’s getting worse!” face.<\/p>\n

\"malort<\/a><\/p>\n

The just-push-through-it reaction. “This is fine. If I keep smiling, maybe the taste will go away….”<\/p>\n

\"malort<\/a><\/p>\n

The rare near-tears reaction. It’s okay to cry \u2013 we’re all in this together!<\/p>\n

\"malort<\/a><\/p>\n

“You guys think this is bad? I mean, I don’t even think it’s\u00a0that<\/em> bad….” What?!<\/p>\n

\"malort<\/a><\/p>\n

The reaction only a first-timer could have. (Yup, we feel your pain).<\/p>\n

\"malort<\/a><\/p>\n

The “I drink this shit every day for breakfast” reaction. (We all know that guy).<\/p>\n

\"malort<\/a><\/p>\n

The “I’m actually offended you maniacs drink this stuff” reaction.<\/p>\n

\"malort<\/a><\/p>\n

Last but not least, we have the obligatory “Guys, let’s take more shots…” face. (Watch out for this one).<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Find What Really Matters In Chicago With The UrbanMatter App!<\/h3>\n

To Download Or See Reviews From Our Users, Head\u00a0Here<\/a>.<\/h3>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We’re all familiar with the taste. The sweet, sweet burn of Jeppson’s Mal\u00f6rt \u2013 the best (or maybe the worst) thing to ever happen to Chicago. What’s the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2021,"featured_media":28873,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[4600,4601],"class_list":["post-28870","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-category-popular","tag-malort","tag-malort-reactions"],"yoast_head":"\n10 Inevitable Malort Reactions: Before and After Shots | UrbanMatter<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"There are few things in life that can cause such a rapid shift in emotions as Chicago's beloved Malort can. Here's our proof.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"10 Inevitable Malort Reactions: Before and After Shots\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"There are few things in life that can cause such a rapid shift in emotions as Chicago's beloved Malort can. Here's our proof.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"UrbanMatter\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"http:\/\/facebook.com\/Pluggchicago\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-04-06T20:30:01+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2019-07-10T16:26:08+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/nate.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1170\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"658\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Danielle Cole\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@UMatterChicago\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@UMatterChicago\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Danielle Cole\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Danielle Cole\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/#\/schema\/person\/d513159ce33889c0ec1bf0596ba88e95\"},\"headline\":\"10 Inevitable Malort Reactions: Before and After Shots\",\"datePublished\":\"2018-04-06T20:30:01+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2019-07-10T16:26:08+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/\"},\"wordCount\":265,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/nate.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"malort\",\"malort reactions\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Popular\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/\",\"name\":\"10 Inevitable Malort Reactions: Before and After Shots | UrbanMatter\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/nate.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2018-04-06T20:30:01+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2019-07-10T16:26:08+00:00\",\"description\":\"There are few things in life that can cause such a rapid shift in emotions as Chicago's beloved Malort can. Here's our proof.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/nate.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/nate.jpg\",\"width\":1170,\"height\":658,\"caption\":\"malort reactions\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Popular\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/category-popular\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":3,\"name\":\"10 Inevitable Malort Reactions: Before and After Shots\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/\",\"name\":\"UrbanMatter\",\"description\":\"For What Really Matters\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/#organization\",\"name\":\"UrbanMatter Chicago\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/UM_Logo-1.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/UM_Logo-1.png\",\"width\":371,\"height\":99,\"caption\":\"UrbanMatter Chicago\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/facebook.com\/Pluggchicago\/\",\"https:\/\/x.com\/UMatterChicago\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/#\/schema\/person\/d513159ce33889c0ec1bf0596ba88e95\",\"name\":\"Danielle Cole\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/6273c96bd632738e2e5ffded8dc1be64?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/6273c96bd632738e2e5ffded8dc1be64?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Danielle Cole\"},\"description\":\"Danielle is passionate about a LOT of things \u2013 wind surfing, rare gem-collecting, all female-cast reality TV, and late-night breakfast, to name a few. But of them all, writing about Chicago and New York City for UrbanMatter takes the top spot. When she's not sharing ideas for her next article with her pet bullfrog, Thor, you'll probably find her working at a local fundraiser or reading her daily horoscope.\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/author\/danielle\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO Premium plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"10 Inevitable Malort Reactions: Before and After Shots | UrbanMatter","description":"There are few things in life that can cause such a rapid shift in emotions as Chicago's beloved Malort can. Here's our proof.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"10 Inevitable Malort Reactions: Before and After Shots","og_description":"There are few things in life that can cause such a rapid shift in emotions as Chicago's beloved Malort can. Here's our proof.","og_url":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/","og_site_name":"UrbanMatter","article_publisher":"http:\/\/facebook.com\/Pluggchicago\/","article_published_time":"2018-04-06T20:30:01+00:00","article_modified_time":"2019-07-10T16:26:08+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1170,"height":658,"url":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/nate.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Danielle Cole","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@UMatterChicago","twitter_site":"@UMatterChicago","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Danielle Cole","Est. reading time":"1 minute"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/"},"author":{"name":"Danielle Cole","@id":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/#\/schema\/person\/d513159ce33889c0ec1bf0596ba88e95"},"headline":"10 Inevitable Malort Reactions: Before and After Shots","datePublished":"2018-04-06T20:30:01+00:00","dateModified":"2019-07-10T16:26:08+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/"},"wordCount":265,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/nate.jpg","keywords":["malort","malort reactions"],"articleSection":["Popular"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/","url":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/","name":"10 Inevitable Malort Reactions: Before and After Shots | UrbanMatter","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/nate.jpg","datePublished":"2018-04-06T20:30:01+00:00","dateModified":"2019-07-10T16:26:08+00:00","description":"There are few things in life that can cause such a rapid shift in emotions as Chicago's beloved Malort can. Here's our proof.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/nate.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/nate.jpg","width":1170,"height":658,"caption":"malort reactions"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/malort-reactions\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Popular","item":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/category-popular\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"10 Inevitable Malort Reactions: Before and After Shots"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/#website","url":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/","name":"UrbanMatter","description":"For What Really Matters","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/#organization","name":"UrbanMatter Chicago","url":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/UM_Logo-1.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/UM_Logo-1.png","width":371,"height":99,"caption":"UrbanMatter Chicago"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/facebook.com\/Pluggchicago\/","https:\/\/x.com\/UMatterChicago"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/#\/schema\/person\/d513159ce33889c0ec1bf0596ba88e95","name":"Danielle Cole","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/6273c96bd632738e2e5ffded8dc1be64?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/6273c96bd632738e2e5ffded8dc1be64?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Danielle Cole"},"description":"Danielle is passionate about a LOT of things \u2013 wind surfing, rare gem-collecting, all female-cast reality TV, and late-night breakfast, to name a few. But of them all, writing about Chicago and New York City for UrbanMatter takes the top spot. When she's not sharing ideas for her next article with her pet bullfrog, Thor, you'll probably find her working at a local fundraiser or reading her daily horoscope.","url":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/author\/danielle\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28870","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2021"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=28870"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28870\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/28873"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=28870"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=28870"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/urbanmatter.com\/chicago\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=28870"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}