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The formula that built reality dating television into a cultural juggernaut has started working against it. Producers who spent two decades perfecting the art of manufacturing conflict now face audiences who recognize every manipulation tactic in the playbook. Ratings continue to climb for certain franchises, but viewer sentiment tells a different story: exhaustion with toxicity, frustration with manufactured drama, and growing appetite for something the genre has rarely prioritized.
Bennett Graebner, who spent nearly two decades as an executive producer on The Bachelor franchise, distills this transformation into a phrase that challenges the industry’s foundational assumptions.
“Empathy is the new shock value,” Bennett Graebner states. “Ten or 15 years ago, the approach was to put these wild personalities together and see how crazy things could get. I think people want to feel for people right now, and they want to see people evolve and change in ways that they didn’t 10 or 15 years ago.”
The Economics of Viewer Fatigue
Nearly 59% of reality TV viewers report watching primarily for drama or conflict, according to industry research from ElectroIQ. Yet that same data reveals a more complex picture: 42% say reality shows have emotionally affected them, and 78% have cried while watching. Audiences want to feel something, but producers may not understand what that something should be.
Marie Claire’s 2025 analysis of dating show programming found that chaos-driven formats are actively alienating their core demographics. The publication called for “low-stakes drama and slow-burn relationships,” noting that viewers who once sought escapist entertainment now experience mounting dread rather than anticipation when new seasons premiere.
UCLA psychology professor Benjamin Karney, speaking to the Daily Bruin, observed that contestants often “perform what they need to perform” rather than behave authentically. Audiences have learned to identify these manufactured moments within minutes, and when they do, the emotional payoff that makes reality television compelling evaporates.
What Character Arcs Demand That Conflict Cannot Deliver
Bennett Graebner’s perspective reflects a fundamental reorientation of what constitutes compelling television.
“My hope is that where we’re headed is to a kinder, gentler place in unscripted television,” Bennett Graebner explains. “It’s less about character destruction and more about the character arc.”
Why does this distinction matter? These approaches require entirely different production philosophies. Character destruction can be assembled in post-production through selective editing, music cues, and manufactured confrontations. Character arcs demand patience, trust between producers and participants, and willingness to let stories unfold organically across episodes.
Netflix’s approach to Love on the Spectrum illustrates what this looks like in practice. Netflix’s Emmy-winning series uses a team of documentary filmmakers as editors, prioritizing what editor Leanne Cole describes as authentic storytelling over manufactured drama. Netflix’s behind-the-scenes coverage reveals an editing process focused on individual character arcs before weaving them into larger seasonal narratives, which inverts how most dating shows construct their episodes.
The Authenticity Paradox in Modern Casting
Contemporary reality television faces an unprecedented challenge: finding people capable of genuine behavior when potential contestants have absorbed decades of genre conventions. Aspiring cast members arrive at auditions having studied viral moments and breakout stars, then attempt to replicate behaviors they believe producers want.
Bennett Graebner points to Love on the Spectrum as evidence of what unfiltered authenticity looks like on screen.
“The reason that show is so popular is because those people say exactly what they feel without thinking about social media or what other people think, and it’s so refreshing,” Graebner observes. “You can feel it from them. They’re just being themselves, which is so hard to find these days.”
Collider’s ranking of reality dating shows validated this assessment, positioning Love on the Spectrum as “the best reality dating show on television right now” specifically because of its emphasis on empathy over engineered conflict. Love on the Spectrum’s success challenges the assumption that audiences require constant escalation to remain engaged.
Why Emotional Investment Outperforms Manufactured Tension
Psychological mechanisms that drive reality television viewership explain why empathy-centered programming generates deeper engagement than conflict-driven alternatives.
Research published in the National Library of Medicine found that viewers watching emotionally resonant content release endorphins, hormones that create feelings of belonging and connection. This neurological response differs fundamentally from stress responses triggered by watching confrontation and humiliation.
Tech Business News reported that while 70% of reality TV viewers feel better about their lives after watching through downward social comparison, this relief comes with significant costs. Shows featuring toxic behavior increase aggression, manipulation, and narcissism in audiences. Young viewers already vulnerable to social media’s influence on self-perception face particularly pronounced effects.
Dating shows that model healthy communication and emotional vulnerability offer something their conflict-driven counterparts cannot: positive behavioral modeling that strengthens rather than distorts viewers’ approaches to their own relationships.
The Production Challenge of Slower Storytelling
Shifting toward empathy-driven content requires structural changes that many production companies may resist. Conflict generates reliable footage quickly; authentic emotional development unfolds unpredictably across extended timelines.
International series have demonstrated that slower pacing can succeed commercially. Netflix’s The Boyfriend and Better Late Than Single built devoted audiences through deliberate storytelling that prioritizes genuine connection over manufactured drama. These shows trust viewers to remain engaged without constant escalation, a gamble that American productions have historically been unwilling to make.
Evidence from recent seasons suggests producers who adapt will find receptive audiences, while those clinging to outdated formulas face diminishing returns.
Redefining What Audiences Want
Evidence points toward a fundamental misalignment between what producers assume viewers want and what actually generates lasting engagement. Audiences continue watching reality dating shows. Love Island USA recorded over 18 billion minutes viewed in 2025, according to Peacock. But commentary surrounding these programs increasingly reflects dissatisfaction rather than enthusiasm.
Reddit discussions about recent seasons of major franchises reveal viewers who feel trapped in a cycle: invested enough in formats to keep watching, frustrated enough by execution to resent the experience. These audiences are primed for alternatives rather than satisfied with the status quo.
Bennett Graebner’s decades navigating the intersection of storytelling and commercial television production provide context for understanding this shift. After building his career on romantic drama, he now argues that empathy generates more compelling television than the conflict-first approach that defined the genre’s growth years.
For producers willing to trust audiences with slower storytelling, authentic emotion, and character development over character destruction, the opportunity exists to capture viewers actively searching for programming that makes them feel something beyond exhausted. Whether an industry built on manufacturing chaos can learn to manufacture something else entirely remains the central question.