“A Giant Ocean of Awfulness”: Aubrey Plaza on Her Daily Struggle with Grief
Just seven months following the tragic death of her estranged husband, filmmaker Jeff Baena, Aubrey Plaza is shedding light on the massive and overpowering grief that feels like a labyrinth to her. Baena, the multi-talented writer, director, and producer, ended his life in January; he was only 47 years old.
Through a very raw and heartfelt exchange, Plaza decided it was her place to reveal her deep loss to her former Parks and Recreation co-star and friend, Amy Poehler, during her podcast recording.
When Poehler put forth the straightforward yet deep question of how she was feeling, Plaza’s response was one of sorrowful honesty. “I think I’m doing OK,” she started, before giving an intense and tearful allegory to her journey, referring to grief as a “giant ocean of awfulness.” Furthermore, she confessed that life had become “a daily struggle.”
Navigating the Relentless Ocean of Grief
Her description of the relentlessness and heaviness of her grief was literally a very recognizable image of heartbreak. “Sometimes I just want to get into it and just be in it,” she elaborated. “At other times, I simply view it and sometimes I attempt to distance myself from it. But, it never leaves.”
The two were not only a married couple (since 2021) but also creative partners with whom we had a profound and co-operative past. They were colleagues in the production of several films such as the 2014 horror-comedy Life After Beth and the 2017 historical comedy The Little Hours.
Their demise was heartbreaking and happened at the beginning of January when he was discovered dead at his Los Angeles residence.
A Movie, a Metaphor, and the Daily Struggle
Amy Poehler on her Good Hang podcast decided to start the conversation with the simplest question, “How are you?”. But Aubrey Plaza’s response to the query was like a masterclass in one complex aspect of life – grief. “Right at this very, very present moment, I am joyful to be with you,” was her reply, acknowledging a small joy in her friend’s company. Yet she didn’t linger there for long. “Generally speaking, I am still alive, and I am able to function. I feel very thankful for my interaction with the world. I think I am fine, but it is like a daily battle, obviously,”
The actress, to make her point clear, chose to compare her state of mind to that of a 2025 action film, the name of which was The Gorge. “This is really a pretty stupid analogy… but actually, I mean it,” she said before pointing out that the movie is about two snipers staying on opposite sides of a deep chasm full of monsters. “If I may, I tell you I felt like the film was my grief when I watched it,” she justified. “As it were, no one is completely separated from that huge abyss of total awfulness that is right there screaming at you all the time.”
Still, she does not cease from doing her best, Aubrey Plaza is in The White Lotus as well as in the upcoming Marvel series Agatha All Along and now she is here for a promo on Honey Don’t!.
The podcast narrative also made Mrs. Plaza communicate that, according to the Los Angeles County Coroner Investigator, the pair had gone their separate ways in September 2024.
On the autobiographical interview, she remembered her and Baena’s lives together as an amazing trip, as well as the director’s very own and his unique, peculiar and brilliant films like I Heart Huckabees, Joshy, The Little Hours, and Horse Girl.
